15850 W. Bluemound Rd. Suite 304 • Brookfield, WI 53005

15850 W. Bluemound Rd. Suite 304 • Brookfield, WI 53005 • 262-788-5335

Taking and Rejecting Advice During Divorce

When you have to manage your household, work, take care of your kids, and deal with the stress and heartbreak of divorce, it can leave you physically and mentally exhausted. Additionally, having to make decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life according to a legal schedule can be agonizing and confusing.  At a time like this, you need friends and family at your side that you know you can trust. Your support system can also be an excellent sounding board when significant issues come up. These important people may offer well-intended guidance, but it’s essential to be able to recognize when to take and reject advice during your divorce. 

They are on Your Side

The people who rush to your side during the hardest times in your life are usually your closest friends and family members. These individuals probably know you the best and care about your well-being more than anyone.  Seeing you go through painful emotions during the divorce is bound to make them feel protective and defensive of you. When your mother or best friend is telling you how to divide property or devise your parenting plan, their guidance may be influenced by their empathy for you.  Expecting an unbiased viewpoint from those closest to you and the situation may not be realistic. They want what they believe to be best for you, but that doesn’t mean they can see the situation from an unbiased viewpoint.  

Remember, Your Divorce is not Their Divorce

When friends or family members have had their own experiences with divorce, they can identify with what you are going through and are likely to tell you about their own experiences. Having others around you who understand and can provide empathy and encouragement can be invaluable. When you hear other people’s stories, it may be tempting to think that what worked for their situation may be right for yours. However, every divorce is unique, and what was right for a loved one’s case may not be appropriate for your family. You are also in a legal case, and the advice of a loved one is not a replacement for that of an experienced family law attorney. Additionally, unlike a close friend or relative, your counsel can offer you a neutral perspective when advising you about your situation.