You are never fully prepared for your spouse to tell you they have been having an affair. Even if you had your suspicions, hearing your partner say the words, changes everything. Learning that the infidelity has been with someone you knew and trusted, can make what was already painful, seem unbearable. Recovering when your spouse leaves you for your friend may seem impossible, but there are steps you can take to regain your balance.
The shock is understandable and may last for a while. As you go through the motions of suddenly losing the life you knew and the people you felt closest to, you may feel numb and disconnected from reality. This is a good time to get in touch with other close friends and loved ones who can support you. You need people in your corner who can provide comfort and insight as you adapt to your new situation. It would also be best to locate a divorce attorney as soon as possible. Your counsel can provide you with a neutral perspective and essential guidance as you end your relationship.
Once the pain of the situation sets in, you could end up going through an array of emotions ranging from denial, anger, and betrayal, to deep sadness. Going through this experience can feel as if the two people you relied on most have suddenly died. Additionally, it can be isolating when it seems like no one you know can begin to identify with this kind of loss. Talking about how you feel with a therapist may be a good way to examine your experience and find ways to cope with the changes in your life.
Being betrayed and having your life upended can create bitterness and resentment which can stay with you for years. However, you can choose to work through your emotions in a way that releases you from the past. What happened will never be just, but with the right support and therapeutic resources, you can find ways to let go of what you cannot change and move toward acceptance and a more peaceful future.
