It seems like you hear of “positive thinking” and “mindfulness” more and more in popular culture these days. Many believe that by training your mind to focus on the good in your life and what is happening now, you can be more centered and calm.
While remaining peaceful and in the present moment are admirable goals, achieving them when your marriage is ending can be a challenge. However, there are ways positive thinking and mindfulness can help get you through your divorce.
During a divorce, you can feel inundated with feelings such as loss, betrayal, jealousy, and anger, and not getting caught up in them can be hard. These are powerful emotions, and if you are not careful they could end up controlling you and your decisions. By deciding to use positive thinking, you do not deny your pain, but instead, choose to consciously focus on the better aspects of your life.
It could be something as simple as remembering you have good health and a stable job. You could also focus on how relieved you are to be getting out of your exhausting and untenable marriage. The idea is to include positivity in your thoughts whenever possible in order to counterbalance the negativity of the divorce. The more good you can recognize around you, the better your chances of not succumbing to the painful emotions caused by your situation.
Adopting a mindfulness practice during divorce can be a way to step back from your situation and gain a vital perspective. There are different methods such as traditional meditation, physical exercise, being in nature, taking a walk, or watching the sunset. It’s essential to choose a form that fits your circumstances and personality.
If you adore yoga and can take time to go within while in a class, that’s great. If being very physically active helps you clear your mind, take time to exercise. If your mindfulness involves cleaning your house or cooking, do that. When going through your divorce, you will not have a choice but to examine the past, present, and future. However, by learning to keep your focus on what you are doing in a given moment, you can get a much-needed break from your current feelings.
While you cannot make divorce easy or your ex reasonable, you can consciously choose to keep thinking positive thoughts and practicing mindfulness. Taking time to attend to your state of mind and emotional well-being can help you make rational, rather than emotionally-driven choices during a divorce.