Taking vacations with your children and being together on special days can be the foundation of priceless memories. When your family goes through a divorce, your kids will have to adapt to spending these times with each parent separately. While this can be challenging, there are ways for you and your ex to work together so that each of your families can continue enjoying vacations and holidays together after divorce.
Don’t Make Assumptions about the Schedule
When your kids are getting out of school and looking forward to their seasonal breaks, they are naturally going to want to spend time with you and your ex. After divorce, each parent will usually have a set schedule that allows them specific holidays and days with the children. While you may think that you both understand which days belong to each of you, it can be helpful to confirm dates with one another. If possible, the two of you should communicate about how the days will be counted, and what if any notice you need to provide one another about trips or changes to the schedule.
Don’t Assume Flexibility
As a married couple, you may have enjoyed some flexibility with each other’s schedules. It’s important not to assume the other parent will be willing to switch days, weeks, or holidays after divorce. You have a schedule for a reason, and each of you needs to respect each other’s days with your kids. If there is an exceptional situation, you may be able to work out a change. However, it’s essential not to take occasional accommodations to your scheduling needs as the status quo.
Be Reasonable About Communication
If possible, you should discuss how and when your kids will communicate with the other parent while spending the holidays or vacations away. It’s essential to be respectful of each other’s placement time, regardless of where it is being spent. If your kids are going to be with the other parent on a holiday or away for several days, you and your ex could set up a day and time for a short Facetime or Skype call. You can also set rational parameters for texting and online communication. It is important to be reasonable about contact with your kids and to give the other parent the space he or she needs to spend quality time with them.
Learning to share holidays and vacations with your ex can be a difficult adjustment, but it can also be a vital part of helping your children build positive and secure relationships with each of you. The more each parent can cooperate, the better it will be for everyone.
At First Look Family Law, Attorney Karyn Youso has over 27 years of experience representing clients during divorce and can help examine the best options for your family. Contact us and let’s schedule an appointment to take a “first look” at your situation and figure out the best steps for you and your children.
