The Emotionally Intelligent Divorce

The term “Emotional Intelligence” is commonly used in popular culture to describe the quality of being aware of your emotions and behaviors and those of others.  A person who has emotional intelligence tends to be able to manage their and other people’s emotional reactions even when under stress. One area where emotional intelligence can be highly beneficial is during divorce.

What is an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce?

Being a legal process which involves personal issues, divorce has the potential to be extremely conflict-oriented and volatile.  Parties can be ruthless in the pursuit of their goals at the expense of their honor and self-respect.  Unfortunately, when people are going through the emotional turmoil of an antagonistic divorce, previously unseen hostility can emerge.  An emotionally intelligent divorce is not about merciless competition and maliciousness.  Instead, its focus is on proceeding through the divorce with integrity and rational behavior.

How to Conduct an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce

When you are fighting with your ex during your divorce it may seem impossible to operate from an emotionally intelligent place.  However, you if can control your emotions and reactions, it will make the process easier on you.  There are also choices which will allow both sides to go through their divorce without contentious court hearings.  One option is to choose divorce mediation.  Divorce mediation enables the parties to work with a trained mediator to craft a divorce agreement which is tailored to their specific needs.  This process lends itself to being flexible and mindful of the other party’s perspective.  Another method which employs qualities of emotional intelligence is collaborative divorce.  This type of divorce focuses on helping the parties amicably and cooperatively resolve their differences with the help of a team of specialized professionals.

Ultimately, how you decide to go through a divorce is up to you.  While you may choose to be empathetic and considerate of the other party, there is no guarantee that he or she will do the same.  However, by managing your emotions and controlling your reactions to your former spouse’s behavior, you can minimize the negativity and conflict between you.

We understand the challenges of divorce and can help provide guidance in resolving your differences collaboratively and cooperatively.  Come in today, and we can take a “first look” at your divorce options.  Please contact us to schedule a consultation.

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