Self-Care and Divorce

Divorce can bring out sides of your personality which you barely recognize.  It can also cause you to enter a near constant state of anger, sadness, anxiety, and defensiveness which can take its toll on even the most emotionally balanced person.  While divorce can be punishing, there are measures you can take which will you help you protect yourself and manage your emotions.

During divorce, you will learn more about the people in your life and the support they are willing to provide in a time of crisis.  This is the time to take stock of friends and loved ones and reach out to them.  It may be that you have not sought out your support network due to being private or embarrassed.  While keeping personal issues to yourself is understandable, you will need to tell friends about the divorce eventually, and it is better to bring them in to support you during the process.  Sometimes a kind word during a painful moment will help you make it to the next one.

Showing care for your body is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. You may have a hard time gathering the energy to be physically active right now.   However, engaging in exercise, whether it is walking, aerobics, running, or swimming, causes mood-improving chemicals to be released into the brain.  The effect is a natural way to manage stress and a more positive mood.    Additionally, being conscious of the foods you are taking in and making the decision to eat a well-balanced, healthy diet, will help you ensure you are feeling your best and showing care for yourself.  Further, without adequate sleep are we think less clearly, our immune systems weakened, and it becomes increasingly difficult to keep perspective.  During divorce, increased stress levels can make rest harder to obtain or lead to sleeping at the wrong times of the day.  When ending your day, take time to wind down without electronics or caffeine. Develop a relaxation practice where you do something calming such as yoga stretches, reading or deep breathing exercises.  Although it can be tempting during times of stress to neglect your physical health, this is when you need it the most.

When a marriage ends in divorce, it is common for people to blame or be hard on themselves. In some ways, our culture seems to be geared towards harsh self-criticism which results in our becoming our own worst enemy. Whatever happened, this is not a time to be unkind to yourself.  While it is normal to feel anger, grief, and pain, it is imperative that you address these emotions without being self-destructive.  It is healthy to express your feelings about the divorce, but it is not healthy to punish yourself.  People make mistakes.  What is important is that we learn from them, and move on.

Divorce can be one of the most stressful times in your life.  While dealing with the issues that come with divorce, it is essential to be patient and kind towards yourself.  We understand and can direct you to the right resources as you go through this process.  Contact us today to schedule a consultation.  Let us take a ‘first look.”

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