Dating after divorce can be a delicate proposition. At first, putting yourself out there and taking a chance on someone new can be difficult, especially when you are still regaining your confidence. Once you have gotten used to dating, you may meet a person you want to see exclusively. In this situation, you may wonder: What does it take to find happiness with someone else after divorce?
Making Sure You Are Ready
Although there is no exact timeline for relationships after divorce, it’s generally not a good idea to get involved with a new partner immediately after your case is over. Just because the case is final and you have established separate homes does not mean you are done with your divorce. On an emotional level, you need to take time to work through how you feel about the marriage ending.
If you get involved with someone else too soon, you may not be able to fully emotionally connect. Take the time you need to heal before complicating your emotional landscape with a new relationship. When you are ready, you can be emotionally available for your right partner.
Consider Your Expectations
Finding someone you want to be in a relationship with after a divorce can be great. One thing that can make this relationship different is that you are entering into knowing what it’s like to have a marriage end in divorce. You may find yourself getting excited about your new connection only to be stopped by feelings of doubt and anxiety.
Because of your past experiences, you may be so worried about the relationship’s possible failure that you can’t progress with your partner.
If you are hitting these barriers, it may help you to consider your expectations and address any fears you may have about moving forward in your relationship. If you find that you can’t get past your anxiety about the future on your own, you may want to find a therapist to help you with managing these concerns.
By addressing your fears and expectations, you can help prevent your past experiences from interfering with your progress in your new relationship.
Don’t Compare
One way to help build a healthier and happier relationship with a new partner after a divorce is by not comparing them to your ex. It sounds like it would be simple to avoid doing this, but sometimes old habits die hard. If the most significant relationship in your life before this one was with your ex, it might be challenging not to contrast the two.
Your marriage and divorce are part of your history and who you are today. That being said, you and your new partner deserve a chance to develop your own story based on your connection with one another. Your former partner and past relationship are not part of that future.
Post-divorce relationships, like any relationship, take time, commitment, and patience, and factors in both people’s lives, such as exes, kids, and work, can add complications. However, when both partners have taken the time to heal from the past and are ready to build a future together, finding happiness in a new relationship after divorce can be possible.
Attorney and Mediator Karyn Youso of First Look Family Law understands the complexities of divorce and the importance of Divorce Mediation. She is an attorney and Mediator with over 29 years of experience helping clients understand their options and connect with resources during and after their Wisconsin divorce cases.
